Ashlee Simpson: Or How I Became Trapped in an Elevator

Nevermiiiind the fact that I worked 14 hours on Monday. There I was again on Tuesday, the minutes and hours creeping by precariously, the chance of watching American Idol slowly slipping through my carpal-tunnel-doomed hands.

Finally my manager and I finished up for the evening, and she gave me the green light to head home. I was damn near joyful to be leaving work "early" at 8:30pm! While waiting for the elevator, I got to thinking about my excess nervous energy...and a random stream-of-consciousness made me think of another person who probably had nervous energy. Ashlee Simpson. I thought of her lip-syncing on SNL...and even more hilarious, her little hoe-down dance that followed.

Once on the elevator, I was trying to picture the dance in my head. Ah, there it was. NOW WHAT ON EARTH POSSESSED ME TO RE-ENACT SAID DANCE BY MYSELF ON THE ELEVATOR I WILL NEVER EVER UNDERSTAND. I almost wish someone had been in there with me...maybe I would have been too embarrassed to do it. So while performing my jig, I must have jumped up and down a little too hard, because all of a sudden the elevator car shuddered...AND STOPPED.

Good Lord almighty. It didn't even cross my mind to be scared. I just frantically pressed all the buttons and waited for something to happen. I finally sat down, called the "Call" button and the security guard informed me it would take about an hour to rescue me. And I had to pee. BAD. And I had plans to go grocery shopping for my friend Janice's birthday dinner the following evening. I guess kiwis, strawberries and raspberry vinaigrette would just have to wait.

So I sat down and pulled out the cellie. God bless you, Verizon! I had service at least. I chatted with my mom (who laughed at me), and Osie (who didn't). Two sexy fire fighters got to me about 20 min later, and I made it to Whole Foods with 15 min to spare.

Chalk it up to one of the weird things that happens to me...