Being that it was a beautiful Saturday, I took a trip with a friend to the nearby dog park. While minding my own business and reading a very good book, a friend of my friend shows up. Let's call her X. Now I met X on a handful of occasions before, but I was always either very tired or drunk. So this was the first chance I had to have a real convo with X, who seems like a nice enough girl.
She brought a sandwich from a nearby deli to eat. In my head I'm thinking (but will never say), good, that sandwich is pretty gooey. Maybe it will provide some much-needed moisture for her pencil-thin lips (I'm not kidding. X's lips are constantly chapped and flaking...to the point where you can't really focus on what she's saying because you're staring. My friend says it's because she drinks too much and is always dehydrated). She adjusts her two sizes too large jeans and sits down next to me to eat. Before eating, though, she goes out of her way to show me the open sores between her big and second toes from where her thong sandals had dug in. She touches it before opening her sandwich. Gross, but I've seen worse. So I continue to smile and be nice. I go back to reading.
Satisfied after taking the sandwich to the face (I'm talking maybe 2-3 minutes, tops), she curls up on the blanket we're sharing and plays with her little dog. I looked at her, horrified because several gooey gobs of some mayonnaise-based product are ALL OVER her face (huge chunks...unless the sensors in her skin are dead, no way I'd believe she couldn't have felt them). I politely inform her she has a bit of food around her mouth (I mean, entire face) and she giggles and goes, "Yea. I'm a really messy eater." Okay, fine. She then proceeds to let the dog lick the remains off of her. Only at this point am I really grossed out.
These kind of people, I think, are attracted to me...but what can you say? She's really nice, so I'll just put up with it.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment