It was a beautiful weekend in Washington. Not a cloud in the sky! Unseasonably warm temperatures greeted my roomie David and me as we headed toward the National Mall with David's puppy Logan.
In fact, we were on our way to meet dear friends A and K (names have been changed to protect the temporarily insane), who had set up shop with a delightful picnic on the Mall. Not even the last vestiges of the Cherry Blossom tourists (most annoying ever) could dampen my happy mood.
Upon arriving at the picnic, I met several of A and K's other friends, all young women about my age. We ate and chatted, played truth or dare, and somehow the conversation turned to sex (what a shocker)...maybe this was a truth question; I don't really remember. Anyhow, the question posed was this: "Have you ever (if you are female) kissed/made out/had sex with another woman? If yes, what happened? If not, would you?"
Now, perhaps you readers need a little background about me. I don't know when this new wave of girl-on-girl action took the country/world by storm (yes, I know it's always been a popular male fantasy, but I feel it's been particularly out there as of late), but I for one am patently, ridiculously tired of seeing scantily-clad, low self-esteemed females making out/groping each other for the satisfaction of an observing male. Let me be very clear: This does not make me homophobic. If you're a lesbian, great, whatever, go do your thing. DO NOT, i repeat, DO NOT, go to a bar, get drunk, pick out whichever skeeby, J.crew-wearing-trustfund-having sorry excuse for a man you want to blow that evening, and proceed to make out with the next hot chick sitting next to you in the hopes that the object of your affection will think it's hot. Don't lie. You know that's why you're doing it. And you better hope the chick sitting next to you isn't me, because YOU WILL get a slap on the fanny (unless you think that's hot, then I'll just slap your face). Non-lesbians making out lesbian-style is not cool. Period. You're setting back feminism like one gazillion years...
Back to the story: So my answer to the question, as if you couldn't tell, was no, I had not, and no, I didn't plan to. I thought I'd have one or two of the group agree with me....NOT ONE, I TELL YOU! NOT ONE! In turn, each proceeded to reveal her hot lesbian experiment or hot lesbian fantasy, AND THEN proceeded to chastise ME for being so conservative and close-minded (meanwhile, anyone who knows me knows I lean fairly left, but anyway...)
Well, I just sat there feeling like the last straight girl on the planet...needless to say, they didn't invite me to their "naked party" (which is exactly what it sounds like).
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